we're chasing vodka with high fives
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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