im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
