It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize