im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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