Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I look better un-naked...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize