you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
