I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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