I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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