operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize