my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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