morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
