Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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