but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
