walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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