she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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