those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
