he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
