well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
