dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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