what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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