let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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