I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize