Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
