I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
His nipple licking is glorious
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