Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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