He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
