For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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