I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize