Hey man sorry I got all grabby
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
