Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
