Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
