Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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