i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
