the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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