I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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