is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
