My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
