I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
