I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
someone threw a dead crab at me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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