So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
