all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
