accomplished twins. life is a go
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
