forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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