Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
