pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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