i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
