dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
