when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
