You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
