You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
