Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
