i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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