just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
