using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
