so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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