I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
