shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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