I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
