He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
