Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize