I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
