I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
