Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
