Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
