My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
