she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
