Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize