Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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