i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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