Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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