3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize