dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
