i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
