Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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