After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
