Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We are all done wearing pants today
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I smell like Dick and happiness
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Two words: nipple clamps
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