he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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