i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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