Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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