So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
