My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
