Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
pray to the hookup gods
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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