Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
