no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
