Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
