I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize