FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
